Shakespeare's Sonnets and Chaos

 Shakespeare’s Sonnets and Chaos

Shakespeare’s Sonnets were a way for Shakespeare to express a more personal expression in a more intimate setting, without ever calling attention to perhaps a single direct person.  Over the ages there has been many arguments over whether or not they were in truth “autobiographical or literary exercises, they read like the thoughts of someone on the rack, tortured by conflicting emotions, their nerve ends exposed as they painfully explore their most intimate feelings.” (The Sonnets, pg. 4)

Arguably, Shakespeare used all of his ability to create and form various literary masterworks as a way to exercise his inner demons.  Whether we are reflecting upon the patriarchal relationships within Henry IV and how various characters are resembling of Shakespeare’s own relationships with the men of note, such as his father, Marlow, or Greene, impacted and influenced his life, or we examine more closely at his use of the Sonnets with their depth and breathe of emotional turmoil and conflict, as Shakespeare not only seems to argue with whom he speaks to but with the world as a whole.  His sonnets appear to give voice to an almost desperation to convince and release that which is built up within him, as if he begs to be heard, truly heard. 

Shakespeare’s Sonnet’s 18 and 21 tend to remind me of Benedict, of Much Ado About Nothing.  These two sonnets also seem to be able to stand side by side.  What better character to speak both of these.  For Benedict, with his sarcastic wit and dry view of love, and yet he was shy and cautious of Beatrice, almost desperate for her attention, thereby using that same over-the-top, to the point of being hurtful, sarcasm in order to garner the said attention from her.  One could simply see him standing there in front of her hand on his sword, leaning slightly against a tree, and smirk upon his lips as he asks in an overly amused voice “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” From there he stands and waves his hand about with great flourish, gesturing towards the various items of nature as speaks, becoming more and more outlandish as he continues:

“Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And summer’s lease hath all to short a date;

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,

And often is his gold complexion dimmed;

And every fair from fair sometimes declines,

By chance or nature’s changing course untrimmed:

But thy eternal summer shall not fade,

Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st,

Nor shall Death brag thou wand’rest in his shade,

When in eternal lines to time thou grow’st.

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,

So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.”(The Sonnets, 18)

Sonnet 18 is a perfect example in tone of conversation between Benedict and Beatrice; whereas Shakespeare’s Sonnet 21 almost seems defensive and pushy.  The imagery incited by 21 makes me feel as if one is defending, not necessarily love, but rather one’s views.  Benedict often thought his compatriots were excessive and to “frilly,” lost in the passions of love, which in part was one of the reasons Claudio, Hero, and Don Pedro come up with the plan to have Benedict “fall” in love with Beatrice.  With Sonnet 21 the reader can almost picture Claudio, Don Pedro, and Benedict standing about arguing merits of what is love.  Benedict, being the realist and more cynical of the trio, mocks the other two with these words:

“So it is not with me with that Muse,

Stirred by a painted beauty to his verse,

Who heaven itself for ornament doth use,

And every fair with his fair doth rehearse,

Making a couplement of proud compare

With sun and moon, with earth and sea’s rich gems,

With April’s first-born flowers, and all things rare

That heaven’s air in this huge rondure hems.

O let me, true in love, but truly write,

And then believe me, my love is as fair

As any mother’s child, though not so bright

As those gold candles fixed in heaven’s air:

Let them say more that like of hearsay well,

I will not praise that purpose not to sell.” (Sonnets, 21)

Benedict was a complex man who used sarcasm and his wit in order to defend his inner thoughts against the outside world.  Both of these sonnets seem to fit this character ideally, for their over-exaggerating and yet defensive tone in approaching the person intended. 

When I myself was considering Shakespeare’s Sonnets, the thing that spoke to me was the raw emotion pouring from them.  How, even if they spoke from simple literary exercises and were never intended for one person, they still were able to reach millions of people and make them feel as if he, Shakespeare, was speaking to him/her/them centuries later in a personal and intimate manner.  When it came time for me to create my sonnet it was this factor I considered.  To be able to reach deep within one’s very soul and express the raw emotion; this is not an easy task, nor is it something I easily risk. 

Chaos is a two-fold sonnet.  It was created to express the darkness and pain of being an abused child, with no one paying attention.  Living and surviving as a child in that lifestyle, before escaping to grow up as a teenager in the NYS Foster Care System, lead to me developing Disassociation Identity Disorder and PTSD, along with my Epilepsy.  According to WebMd’s website, they describe DID as following “Dissociative identity disorder is thought to stem from trauma experienced by the person with the disorder. The dissociative aspect is thought to be a coping mechanism -- the person literally dissociates himself from a situation or experience that's too violent, traumatic, or painful to assimilate with his conscious self.” (WebMD) My Epilepsy I was diagnosed with when I was 12, having gone into a gram mal seizure at the dinner table of my foster parents.  It was only in the past ten years they realized I was having seizures all my life, and that I have a rare form of genetic epilepsy. 

Chaos, for me, is only a fragment of being able to cope with this is like on a daily basis.  Therapy has helped me to learn to live a much healthier life style and how to function with these issues.  The journey itself is never easy, but it is one of turmoil and loneliness, hence I can understand Shakespeare’s Sonnets on an emotional level, though I appreciate the imagery of nature.  I tend to surround myself with nature in order to give myself a sense of peace.

Chaos

Standing upon the precipice

Eyes held captive by the unending mist;

How will I find my way? 

When will silence bring an end to the storm,

Through the rampant voices running wild?

 Where in the shadows am I hidden,

Never knowing which way to turn?

Can you feel me shaking?

Can you hear me screaming?

Who will help me to guide me through

The waves crashing against the walls?

Everyone around me, yet still so alone…

Why can you not hear me!

Chaos, my constant companion.

Cite:

Gibson, Rex. "Sonnet 18, Sonnet 21." Shakespeare: The Sonnets. Cambridge: Cambridge UP, 1996. Print.

Shakespeare, William. "Much Ado About Nothing." Folger Digital Texts. Folger Shakespeare Library. 2015. Web 26 Feb 2015.